Tonight, I realized that asking Allah for help before any act of ibadah (not only before a test or presentation)– prayers, studying Qur’an, or anything else – is really powerful. During my prayers, particularly in those teary sujoods, I asked Allah to grant me the ability to pray with true focus (khusyuk) and calmness (tuma’ninah). My mind wanders so easily, but Alhamdulillah, Allah has helped me immensely! With His permission, I was able to savor each movement, becoming aware of my body and ensuring my nose and forehead touched the floor correctly during sujood. I straightened my back whenever it felt improper. Alhamdulillah ya Allah!
This is a profound reminder that Allah’s guidance reaches us in truly unexpected ways! Ya Allah, please keep me motivated and improve me until I meet the next Ramadan. May Allah guide us to make the most of our remaining Ramadan nights and carry these lessons beyond this blessed month.
Today marks the beginning of the final three days of Ramadan and potentially the last two nights of Tarawih. My heart aches as I reflect on my final Witr sujood. Tears well up, and I realize I haven’t made the significant improvements in my ibadah I’d hoped for during these past 27 days. In that sujood, I even prayed a prayer I saw on Twitter: “Ya Allah, please don’t let this be my last shalat. Ya Allah, please don’t let this be my last Ramadan.”
Previously, I hadn’t felt comfortable with the mosques near my house, but just yesterday, I found one where I felt at ease. Why did I only discover this now, on the 26th of Ramadan? A wave of regret washes over me. My goal was to focus on prayers and complete the Khatamul Qur’an, but it feels like I’ve fallen short. People on Twitter say it’s better to spend these nights learning and understanding the Qur’an rather than simply reciting it to reach the 30th juz. Others advise using these final nights to create a list of daily ibadah practices for the months ahead, preparing for the next Ramadan.
One of the most profound things that recently affected me was a video by Ustadz Adi Hidayat (https://youtu.be/aottY1O9zdQ?si=WvRBCmeGmTM8hfaD). He taught the tadabbur of the words and movements in shalat. Though I only watched 15 minutes of his an-hour-long course, focusing on the very beginning of the prayer – takbir and doa iftitah – I was deeply immersed. I truly absorbed the philosophy and meaning behind them. Ustadz said that once we recite “Allahu Akbar kabiro walhamdulillahi katsiro wasubhanallahi bukrotaw waasila,” the doors of the heavens open, and our prayers are granted by Allah. I’ve started putting this into practice.
I’ve often felt a touch of jealousy observing one of my friends who seems deeply immersed in her daily prayers, oblivious to her surroundings. Masyaa Allah… now, for the first time, I understand how that feels. It was just once, but I yearn to experience that focused state again, frequently, and always, with Allah’s permission. Can I?
As a sign of my commitment to deepening my Islamic knowledge and improving my ibadah, I registered for several learning resources tonight: Bayyinah TV, SyameelaSeries, and sekolahfiqih.com.
Alhamdulillah, I don’t know how it happened, but for the past week, my Twitter timeline has been filled with reminders to improve my ibadah. Even the inspiration to sign up for these resources came from Twitter! Alhamdulillah ya Allah, for guiding me even through a social media platform I tend to waste time on. Ya Allah, You’re so kind and truly the Most Kind.
Disclaimer: My apology if this post is plain compared to my others, without pictures or my usual formatting. I wanted to capture this spiritual experience for myself, a reminder I can return to because I forget so easily. I long to tell the world how great Allah is, even though no one reads my blog (I have no followers yet!). But I can’t spare another minute on formatting during this precious time of Ramadan. I’ll do better after Ramadan, Inshaa Allah.
The Hayyan Chronicle 
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